If only endings were as neat as I tried to make it in the last two posts. But my ex continues to surprise me with his high-dive leap into insanity. There were things that I wanted to leave out of this narrative. Minutiae that I did not want to believe could possibly be true and thus was not worth putting into the world. I still have no intention of bad-mouthing anyone in this situation. However, the increased level of drama demands to be recorded for my three readers (But really for myself).
I have listened to Sean telling me about Noel and Brad before. I have ignored it as his jealousy over his friend remaining friends with his former fiancé despite the obvious seeming impropriety of that action (not to mention sleeping on her couch every other night). I did not believe that there could really be a relationship going on between them. Brad has reassured me that he knows she is unsuitable for a relationship and that he has no interest in her in that way. He is just friends with her and can I please stop acting like a jealous ex and let him have his friends?
So, I backed off. But now…
“Yeah, Brad still hasn’t said anything about actually finding a place. I don’t think he actually wants to leave,” my roommate says. We are watching Netflix in the living room with Sean. This is an almost nightly occurrence now. We seem to be huddling together for comfort around the warm fire of whatever show can play in the background without being distracting but still holding our attention during conversation lulls. It helps that when we can manage to get off the subject of Brad (for me) and Noel (for Sean) we have wonderfully verbose conversations ranging from sex to prisms to Chicago. Unfortunately, at the moment we are stuck on Brad.
“No, that would require actual change,” I say. “It’s too much work. He can’t commit to anything.” There is a pause before Sean, looking uncomfortable now, begins to speak.
“I don’t want to be the one to break this to you two, but I feel like you deserve to know so you can prepare for it, and Brad definitely won’t tell you. But my friend Cassie works with Noel, and she told me that Noel has been telling everyone in her office that Brad is moving in with her soon.”
The cat chooses this moment to nearly knock over my wine glass.
“Would he really be that stupid?” My roommate finally says.
“Yes, I think he would,” I mumble. “After all, no one else wants to live with him. All that talk about wanting something new is really just bullshit. He wants something new in the sense that he needs to surround himself with people who he feels superior to. She fits the bill because she’s a nutcase. Sorry, Sean.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me. I know that bitch is crazy,” he says. “I wasted five years of my life on her. But I don’t think you guys should let this get to you. He’s trying to destroy his life, and so is she, so let them be miserable together.”
“What happened to knocking his teeth in if you ever found out they were screwing?” I ask with an arched brow. I still find the image amusing, though impractical and pointless.
“I would love to, but it would only give me momentary satisfaction and it’s not like it would make him rethink anything.” Oh good, we think alike now.
“What are we going to do?” I ask my roommate. I feel tears forming in my lashes. I haven’t cried in a few days, so I have finally decided to wear makeup again. My mascara is going to be everywhere. This sucks. “I can’t keep living here if he moves in with her. It’s just across the walkway. I can’t do it.”
“I don’t expect you to,” my roommate says soothingly. He gives me a hug and adds, “I guess we’ll just have to start looking for a new place and make sure Brad keeps his word about paying for the lease break.”
We somehow work our way back to mundane topics, but my evening is shattered. I have to work at 7 in the morning. I can’t stay up all night staring at my computer like a zombie. I have things. I have stuff.
Now, I have truly lost.