This is the biggest bullshit phrase ever invented. You do not find yourself. You are you. What you have to find is a way to live with that fact. I am so tired of hearing people my age (early 20s) saying that they just have to find themselves. Find what they want out of life. Life isn’t a scavenger hunt. I’m pretty sure I could make a convincing metaphor for why it is, but it would all be lies. You are the person you are. Is it possible to change? Hell yes. But it’s hard. It’s so hard that it might not actually be worth it because whatever you end up with will be a shadow of what you could have accomplished if you had accepted yourself at the outset. You know what is worth the time and effort that people who use this tired phrase are wasting? Liking themselves.
You don’t like the way you look? Change your hair, change your makeup, change your clothes. Or better yet, just realize that you are awesome the way you are. Start small: pick one thing each day that you like.
You don’t like your job? Find a new one. I know, I know, depending on where you live, the job market will not necessarily make this easy. But if you need new qualifications or experience or whatever, find a way to work towards it. Plan a move to an area with better opportunities. Baby steps are so underrated in this scenario.
You don’t like your living situation, your car, your prospects in life? Do something about it. Stop whining. And stop blaming your inability to make a change on the fact that you don’t know who you are or don’t know what you want. Pick something. Pick anything. It doesn’t even really have to fit. The problem is waiting for that perfect dream to come along. Work towards something, anything, that even remotely interests you, and the right thing, the thing you really want, it will reveal itself. It’s already there. You’re just too bogged down in self-pity and confusion to see it.
Any little thing that is done towards a real, substantial change is valuable. That said, you can’t just talk about making a change. You have to DO something. You already know who you are. You found yourself when you were a kid. You just need to learn how to live with that fact. Now get off the couch, put down the controller, and do something.
Random photo: When I was 18, fresh out of high school, I ran away to New York for my first two years of college. I had no idea what the hell I was doing, just that I wanted to do it. I amassed way too much student debt and some of the best memories of my life. What have you done?