I apologize in advance for the disjointed nature of this post. It is a random conglomerate of my foremost recurring thoughts without examining any in depth. In other words: word vomit.
So I won’t have internet at my new apartment for another two days, and I spent a couple days without working data on my phone due to a sim card that simply had enough of this cruel world. Alors, I have felt incredibly disconnected and disoriented for the last couple of days. Moving is chaotic enough anyway. I’m still not completely unpacked and my water dragon still needs a new home. But I am beginning to feel slightly more stable in my life again. It’s a slow road.
My friend has begun dating again after his recent heartbreak (he had about a week head start on me there). I have mixed feelings on this. I am happy he is moving on, but dammit I don’t want to hear about it. To be fair, while I was attempting to dive head first into the shallow end of the dating pool, I told him (and my roommate) all about it. However, none of that was very promising and I soon gave up, preferring to direct my energies to more beneficial areas of my life. Now he has met a nice lady, and I am not too proud to admit that I am jealous.
Typing on an iPhone is awful. It doesn’t help that my phone is in French so it tells me that every other word is incorrect.
I should be sleeping I guess. I have class tomorrow, and I need to go grocery shopping. I was supposed to do that tonight, but snow and ice and stuff. I just want my life to calm down again. I want to meet the perfect guy (or girl) and settle into a routine again. I want stability with spontanaeity. I also want to be happy alone and in my own skin.
I just want everything and I want it all now. Contradiction and paradox included.