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20 Something: Why I’ll Never Have a Meet Cute

Recently I figured out why I am never going to have a meet cute. For those unfamiliar with the term, it describes a situation where a couple meet for the first time before becoming romantically involved.

It originally applied to fiction-and specifically film-but it is being used more now to describe the increasingly rare event of two people meeting and falling in love in person rather than through a dating site or app.

Or I could be the only person who uses it that way, but I’m sure I saw it used in at least one other place.

Personally, I’m not a fan of romantic comedies. I have a few exceptions (Definitely, Maybe) but as a general rule, they make me vaguely uncomfortable. Still, I can’t deny that I would love love love to have a meet cute instead of an awkward Tinder conversation.

Seriously, who wouldn’t prefer that?

But it’s never happened, and recently I realized that it’s never going to unless I undergo a major personality shift.

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The Story

I pulled up at Jiffy Lube because my car was screaming for an oil change. It was an hour before they closed, so I had plenty of time. I gave my information to the mechanic and settled into the empty waiting room.

I was wondering if the guy I was chatting with would mind moving our scheduled first in-person meet-up to a later date since I was obviously having car trouble. And because I was tired. And it was cold. And OK, so I just didn’t want to drive twenty minutes to get a drink with a stranger who hadn’t really done much to impress me up to this point.

As I mused on these things, in walks Cute Guy #1. A lithe gent in a plaid shirt with tousled brown hair and a five o’clock shadow. We smiled at each other and said “Hi.”

And thus ended our interaction for the duration.

A few minutes later, in walks Cute Guy #2. This lad was a bit more business-y with a geek-chic hair cut and thin-frame glasses. A brief smile was exchanged.

And thus ended our interaction for the duration.

We spent the next 15-20 minutes while I waited for my vehicle in silence.

The Moral

I didn’t get on my phone as I would have if I were alone, but I didn’t try to start up a conversation, either. As I left, I silently berated myself for not being suave, confident, flirty, or even just a bit outgoingly friendly.

What would have been the harm? I asked myself retrospectively. The worst that could have possibly happened would be that one or both of them would ignore my overtures completely or that I would get a weird look for trying to start a conversation.

Granted they both largely had their noses in their phones, so that was pretty discouraging.

Basically, I don’t know how to talk to cute strangers unless A) they approach me or B) actually just refer back to A. I have no problem talking about anything  with anyone if they start the conversation, but I simply cannot start the talking that leads to phone number swapping for myself.

And that, dear readers, is why I will never have a meet cute. While I am moderately pretty and I’m pretty sure my resting face is welcoming, no guy or girl is going to approach me first.

The Query

But is this just an issue for me or is this something that is increasingly common? My grandfather doesn’t have this problem. If he’s waiting in a line and there is a person next to him, that’s just a potential new friend. Before the new friend realizes what’s happening, my grandpa has led them into a conversation that they don’t actually want to leave.

I don’t know how he does it. I have envied this trait of his for years. In rare moments of random adrenaline, I have managed to do this, too. But I have never managed the total ease and normalcy that he brings to the action.

So, is this a generational thing? Is it a personality thing? I may have to research this and get back to you because I really want to know.

Thoughts and comments are always appreciated!

3 thoughts on “20 Something: Why I’ll Never Have a Meet Cute

  1. Lunar says:

    You’re definitely not alone in this. It’s really hard to start a conversation with a stranger and even harder if their nose is glued to their cell phone. But nevertheless I’ve done it a few times. I just try and find something funny to break the silence with or if they’re reading a book I might ask them if its any good. It’s not easy to do and I definitely prefer it when people approach me, but when there’s nothing to lose…why not?

    Liked by 1 person

    • jenovotony says:

      That’s what I kept telling myself after the fact. I’m wondering if there’s a way to retrain myself to be outgoing in person. Maybe!


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